Love is beautiful. But for some of us, it’s not that easy to let in.
And it’s not just romantic love that can be hard to accept. Sometimes, it’s much harder to love yourself.
Practicing self-love isn’t something that we naturally do. We’re not always taught to love ourselves. But this can be the first, very important step to welcoming love.
Yet, when you’re used to being a little tough on yourself or you feel like you’re not all that deserving of love, how can you do this?
Learning to love yourself can feel like a challenge. But it’s also the key to self-acceptance, a calmer state of mind, and healthier relationships in general.
There’s something a little frightening about the idea of letting love in, isn’t there? You might not realize it and maybe you’re reading this still trying to work out why you feel the way you do.
But it takes a lot to let your guard down and be vulnerable. Even if we’re not talking about falling in love. It can still be hard to work through things and love yourself.
Yet, if you know that you want to feel more content in who you are, accept yourself, and be loved, you have to love yourself first.
So what does that look like in practice?
It’s so easy to say that you have to love yourself first. And you know that you’ve heard that a lot before, haven’t you! Yet, you won’t always really know what you need to do to make it happen.
The idea here isn’t just suddenly deciding that you’re fantastic and then feeling happiness. It doesn’t quite work that way. Instead, you have to practice and go through the motions to then feel comfortable with who you are.
And then you should start to feel more accepting and deserving of any version of love.
Self-love is definitely a journey. As much as that sounds like the most overdone cliché, it’s true.
You’ll have days where you feel incredible and comfortable in your skin. Then others where you’re a little rusty. And that’s okay.
It’s a process.
But the idea of prioritizing your own needs and putting yourself first can help here. Learn that it’s okay to have boundaries and say no to things that don’t align with who you are and what you want.
Stop comparing yourself. Seriously, stop! Most of the time, you’re comparing yourself to an idea of another person anyway, and not who they actually are.
Choose to accept yourself too. This can be the one that we all find a little harder. It’s so natural to be tough on yourself. It is. We all have moments where we’re so self-critical it’s crazy. But in order to be happy, you have to let it go.
Accepting yourself for who you are and embracing all of the beautiful things that make you you is such a powerful action. You’ll often feel so much freer when you do.
This is why you also have to feel the feelings. It’s a self-love must. As much as it can be easier for you to ignore them, you’ve got to face your feelings. You’ll start to understand your mind and why you feel the way you do the second you start.
And it’s always going to help you to feel good when you focus on the good too. It’s all too easy to only see the negatives, worry, and panic. But there’s always something good. Fresh air, family, the endless possibilities of the future in front of you.
But what does this mean for relationships? Are you in one or are you looking to be? Maybe you’ve been thinking about it, but you’re afraid.
And that’s completely okay.
When you want to welcome a new relationship into your life, doing the work helps hugely. Of course, you can definitely meet someone new at any stage in your life. But if you want to be in the best possible space to welcome a strong, healthy, and positive relationship, accepting yourself and understanding that you deserve happiness is the key.
This often starts with embracing the idea of a relationship. Sure, it’s scary to break down your walls and let someone in, but when you start to welcome the idea and see it positively, things start to change.
And then there’s the idea of actually looking for love itself. What does this look like and how do you know that you’re ready?
Well, some will say that you should wait. That you should feel complete and wholesome and ready and only then should you look for the one.
But sometimes, it finds you when you least expect it.
And so, it could even be a good idea to start looking before you’re ready. Dating can seem really scary when you’re brand new to it. Or when you’ve had a bad experience. But it can also be fun, eye-opening, and lead to your dream relationship.
So just start. Look for local Yorkshire dating or options in your area. Consider what kind of person you’d like to be with or be open to different ideas. Think about finding an online dating site like Yorkshire dating to sign up to and just be open-minded.
Then get talking. And have fun with it! Think about the different fun dates you can go on – either in person or virtually. And it doesn’t just have to be a walk or drinks. Maybe mini-golf or playing a sport is more for you?
As much as the idea of meeting someone and finding your forever happiness can be terrifying, it’s also exciting. So embrace the process, be kinder to yourself, and just see what happens. Your life could all start to fall into place this year.
Do you love yourself first? How do you practice self-love? Share your thoughts with the SOCIÉTÉ community in the comments below.